The Winter Blues

It is coming up to the end of January and I am so happy to have this month behind me. Although it came with some great news and activities, I always find this month to be terribly long, cold, dark and lonely. Many are hibernating, avoiding the cold winds and the high snow drifts. Shovelling the drive became every one's workout regime (accept for my condo friends) in January.

I started back to work this month part-time from having three months off. For those of you reading and don't know I had reconstructive breast surgery (DIEP FLAP) due to breast cancer over 5 years ago. I can finally say that I am so happy I did this. I really thought I would never go down the surgery road again but 5 years is a long time and life does go on. The decision to have surgery also coincided with my adoption. I thought that if I could get a date for surgery in fall of 2008 then that would give me a good year to recover and gain back the strengths to travel to Vietnam to bring back baby Lily.

Everything seems to be on target. In Sept 2008 I was told that due to the situation of the US / Vietnam relationship on adoption that things have slowed down and my proposal date would be pushed to spring 2010 (They inform me at that time that I am about 24 on the list for adopting a girl). That was a kicker piece of news since I thought I would have been traveling in the summer of 2009. One must remain calm because if you are in this process of international adoption you have to be flexible, adaptable and optimistic. I was upset for about 4 hours and then quickly got over it.

My new motto: there is a reason for everything and I must not resist.

Go to early December 2008 and I get on the phone with my adoption agency. They now inform me that there has been quite a few referrals and some travel these past few months and I should anticipate a referral December 2009 (I am approx 18 on the list). I think that this is OK for me. Recover from surgery, save more money, organize house....it is all good.

"Referral" is when the Vietnam orphanage make a match between me and a baby and all information is sent to me via my adoption agency. It is also called a proposal.

Now I sit at the end of January thinking that my lovely daughter may not even be born yet. Possibly a summer baby may come my way. I contacted the agency last week to just check in. To my surprise I am told that I have moved and I am between 10-15 on the list. I am loving the list! I calm myself and tell myself not to read to much into this as things can change on a dime. I have been witness to much change already. But... my lips curl up, my eyes gleam and I allow myself to believe that my dream is finally going to come true.