Trepidation

Lately, especially in the dead of winter, I have been questioning my ability to be a good "single" mom. Most of my friends are attached to another person called "the dad" and I still hear stories of how tired they are, frustrated, they don't have any time, baby won't sleep etc etc. Foresight allows me to be this strong capable woman juggling many balls but when I am feeling low I get overwhelmed at the thought of dropping many of those balls.

So this winter I have had the company of my lovely Charlotte to care for and I find myself every now and then getting frustrated. Come home from work, walk the dog, feed the dog, make dinner, watch a bit of tele, throw in laundry, get ready for bed, wake up, walk the dog, get ready to go to work....you get the picture and she is a dog with very few demands.

Maybe it is just the winter or that I am still post surgery but when I am feeling frustrated it makes me think how on earth will I be able to care for a baby, and a dog as one person? My mom did it with 6 children and I didn't feel the effects of that whatsoever. In fact I recall a wonderful childhood, very free and active. When I was growing up we were thrown into the backyard to play in the snow. My mom would be there to do a boot insulation change, new mittens and it was back outside to spend hours playing together.

As much as I am so excited about being a mom I am still very nervous and question if I can do it all. I guess this is what runs through every woman's head whether they adopt or give birth. Becoming a parent is daunting. It is the unexpected even when all your friends draw you a picture, my experience (or picture) will always be an original.