The Winter Blues

It is coming up to the end of January and I am so happy to have this month behind me. Although it came with some great news and activities, I always find this month to be terribly long, cold, dark and lonely. Many are hibernating, avoiding the cold winds and the high snow drifts. Shovelling the drive became every one's workout regime (accept for my condo friends) in January.

I started back to work this month part-time from having three months off. For those of you reading and don't know I had reconstructive breast surgery (DIEP FLAP) due to breast cancer over 5 years ago. I can finally say that I am so happy I did this. I really thought I would never go down the surgery road again but 5 years is a long time and life does go on. The decision to have surgery also coincided with my adoption. I thought that if I could get a date for surgery in fall of 2008 then that would give me a good year to recover and gain back the strengths to travel to Vietnam to bring back baby Lily.

Everything seems to be on target. In Sept 2008 I was told that due to the situation of the US / Vietnam relationship on adoption that things have slowed down and my proposal date would be pushed to spring 2010 (They inform me at that time that I am about 24 on the list for adopting a girl). That was a kicker piece of news since I thought I would have been traveling in the summer of 2009. One must remain calm because if you are in this process of international adoption you have to be flexible, adaptable and optimistic. I was upset for about 4 hours and then quickly got over it.

My new motto: there is a reason for everything and I must not resist.

Go to early December 2008 and I get on the phone with my adoption agency. They now inform me that there has been quite a few referrals and some travel these past few months and I should anticipate a referral December 2009 (I am approx 18 on the list). I think that this is OK for me. Recover from surgery, save more money, organize house....it is all good.

"Referral" is when the Vietnam orphanage make a match between me and a baby and all information is sent to me via my adoption agency. It is also called a proposal.

Now I sit at the end of January thinking that my lovely daughter may not even be born yet. Possibly a summer baby may come my way. I contacted the agency last week to just check in. To my surprise I am told that I have moved and I am between 10-15 on the list. I am loving the list! I calm myself and tell myself not to read to much into this as things can change on a dime. I have been witness to much change already. But... my lips curl up, my eyes gleam and I allow myself to believe that my dream is finally going to come true.

The Lily Flower

The Lily Flower

Name: Lilium candidum was the most significant flower symbol for Christians and suggested purity. As a symbol of purity associated with virgins it became known as the Madonna Lily.

Origin: One of the first descriptions of the lily dates from the Chinese Middle Ages "the plant flowers until late autumn and there are three types, red, yellow and purple".

Colour: Some forms (Lilium longiflorum, L. candidum, oriental lilies) are highly perfumed but white only; others (asiatic lilies) are highly coloured but scent-free

Availability: All year (thank goodness).

Care Tips: Remove the pollen stamens by pinching them together and pulling them up out of the flower. This prolongs the flower's life as well. Use sellotape to remove pollen, not water which will fix the stain.

Trivia & Facts: Lilies have been cultivated for over 3000 years. Feng Shui believers hold the lily as an emblem of summer and abundance; to the Chinese, lily means "Forever in love". The lily was the holy flower of the ancient Assyrians. Until the 16th century the Madonna lily was the only garden variety known, because of this the "lilies of the field" as mentioned in the bible are thought to be this specific lily. A lily has adorned the coat of arms of the kings of France since 1179. King Chlodwig I allegedly received this 'fleur de lys', as it is called in heraldic language, from an angel. But in actual fact his flower wasn't a lily, as the name implies, but an iris. Via Louis XI the motif made its way to the coat of arms of the Medici family, and from there on to the arms of Florence and Tuscany. Interestingly, only the Florentine 'fleur de lys' has stamens like a lily (see there must be Italian running through my blood).

Mythology: In Greek poetry, the lily stood for tenderness. It was also referred to as the voice of cicadas or of the muses. There is a Greek myth that tells us how the lily was born from the milk of the goddess Hera. The lily still symbolises pure, virginal love in the Christian world.

Medicinal: In the past, various flowers were used to prepare remedies in popular medicine. In China some served as lucky charms, while others were thought to be capable of averting the evil eye. In another historical account we read that people were interested in lilies for their anti-toxic powers and their capacity of curing depressions. In Europe, too, lilies were used as a remedy against a wide range of diseases and ailments right up to the beginning of the last century.

Caution: Be aware that lilies can be highly poisonous to cats. Owners should be aware of this risk and keep their pets away from them (thank goodness I have a dog).

It is About Time I Started

I have been thinking of creating a blog for the past 6 months, mainly to share in this wonderful journey of becoming a parent and also to capture a story for Baby Lily. I do this because even at my age I am hungry for information about myself as a baby and stories of my mother who passed away when I was only 14 years old.

To know where you come from is a big steping stone for oneself in finding a place in the world where you feel secure, safe and confident. It is my honour and delight to journal my thoughts and experiences as a soon-to-be parent through adoption but more importantly, I feel compelled to write these stories for Lily.

So, stay tuned and I will share some stories, timelines and the ins and outs of adopting as a single parent. It is a new year and I feel very hopeful that my life-long journey to be a parent is going to happen this year. Mark my words.